


Pulling Your Puzzle Apart

by HarleysCompass



Series: Speak as Loud as Your Heart [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, At least to me, Bisexual Character, F/M, Graves was happy before, Grindelwald ruins that, I'm Sorry, M/M, Married Couple, Post-Canon, Sort of? - Freeform, mentions of torture, nothing too graphic though, please read anyway?, rated T just in case, yes there are OCs in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10529103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarleysCompass/pseuds/HarleysCompass
Summary: The thing is, Percival Graves did have people that would miss him when he’s gone, people who would notice things were wrong.  The thing is that everyone noticed something was off with their Director over the past five months.  Who wouldn’t have noticed?But Grindelwald was a good liar, and it was easier to believe.





	1. Close Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> OH GOD WHAT AM I DOING!?  
> I know what I'm _not_ doing: working on that Sherlock fic that is still waiting for me to finish it.  
>  I take full responsibility for that fact. I watched Fantastic Beasts and I didn't expect that I would like it as much as I did. I mean, I didn't expect to watch it and suddenly get dragged down into the fandom. This is the first time in a long time that I've been so compelled to write a fanfic. I literally sat down and have been writing this every chance I got and without stopping like the idea hit me and I just ran with it and ideas kept coming so I kept going.
> 
> Basically, what happened is, I watched the movie, fell in love with the idea of meeting the Real Percival Graves, like all of us did, and then binge read everything I could get my hands on that had Real Percival Graves coming back. Specifically the angsty ones, like ugh, so amazing. Like it was the right kind of angst for me, I think that's why I got sucked into this. Anyway. As much as I LOOOOOOVE reading all the fics with the different interpretations of Graves and him reacting to how no one noticed it wasn't him and everything was wrong, after I binge read all of them I hadn't really seen a fic like this. The thought came to me, that what we all know and agree about Graves is that he is a workaholic, so how is it that no one at work noticed something was wrong. I know that when one of my bosses is acting weird, I feel the compelling need to ask "hey, is everything ok?" But there has to be something that would occur, that would cause someone to act differently and you wouldn't question it.
> 
> And then it hit me and I wrote it and I know, I know. I'm not one for OCs usually myself, but this is the idea that came to me, and like I said, I just kept going with the writing and it's just been soooo long since I had a fic hit me so hard that I just was able to run with it. Last time this happened was with the beginning of that Sherlock fic. Like this is what I love about writing, I love when the idea almost just manifests itself and you just find the words to bring it to life.
> 
> Anyway, if you got past the OC tag and got to this point, I apologize for rambling. Last note: Most of this fic, like I'd say 90% of it, was actually written while I was at work, during my breaks, on my phone. So while I have obsessively reread and edited this as much as I can there are chances of strange words that are there in place of other words. That is the autocorrect on my phone, and I profusely apologize! If you find one please, please let me know and I'll correct it. Because honestly, after I got home I would go over whatever I wrote at work and I would have some crazy deciphering to do. But I have rambled on too long. Thanks for giving this fic a look, sorry for the long note.  
> I hope you enjoy.

The thing is, Percival Graves _did_ have people that would miss him when he’s gone, people who would notice things were wrong.  The whole department knew that Arlene Graves would have, and had, turned the department upside down if her husband was even late coming home.  Some people would think that was a bit paranoid and controlling, but when her husband had come home late one day with a No-Maj bullet in his side she had every right to be worried if he was ever late home without warning again.  Graves was a rigid person, with a rigid schedule.  Any deviation was cause for concern.  His two children would have been right alongside her with constant, never ending questions about where their daddy was.  It was sweet, and the department loved seeing his family, and loved seeing their normally stoic, put together Director rush out of his office at five o’clock sharp to get home before his wife started panicking.

The thing is that _everyone_ noticed something was off with their Director over the past five months.  Who wouldn’t have noticed?

But Grindelwald was a good liar, and it was easier to believe.

 

 

When Percival first met his wife, she was a precocious, witty little shit in third year and he was a fifth-year Prefect.  How he hadn’t run into this particular third year sooner was only due to the fact that the school was big, there were plenty of students, and it was easy to go an entire seven years there without ever meeting someone.  And the only reason he had run into this particular third year now was because his little sister, Gwendolen, had suddenly decided they were best friends and needed to introduce her big brother.  The first thing the little brat said to him was ‘are you always constipated or is it just the way your face is?’

He decides his little sister has terrible taste in people.

His little sister decides she has great taste in people.

 

 

When five months before one of the biggest breaches in the Statute of Secrecy occurs, Graves walks into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement looking like he’s ready to explode, his team is naturally worried.  When he calls his deputy to his office with a gruff and snappy ‘move your ass, Finley, I don’t have all day,’ they are _extremely_ worried.  The moment Deputy Director Viola Finley leaves the office, the information spreads.  Graves had asked for it to be kept private, but this was far too important to keep hidden from the team.

Arlene Graves had run off with another man.  And not just any other man, but Graves’ best friend: Senior Auror Oliver Rosental.

At first, no one believes it.  At first, everyone thinks that this is somehow some terrible prank.

Except Rosental never comes into work.

Except Rosental’s wife works in evidence lock up and she hasn’t stopped sobbing over a crinkled note since she got in that morning.

Except Gwen stalks in around lunch time with a letter of her own and disappears into Graves’ office.  They can hear her shouting, despite the muffling spell that the Director has set up.

By the end of the day, they all have a pretty clear idea of what happened.

Before Graves came home the day before, Arlene packed her things, gathered their two children, and had eloped with Rosental.

Arlene had left Graves a note, telling him she was sorry, telling him that it wasn’t him.

Arlene had sent an owl to Gwen apologizing to her for breaking her brother’s heart.

Rosental had left a note for his wife, telling her he was sorry, telling her it wasn’t her.

Rosental had sent an owl to Graves apologizing to him for breaking their friendship.

By the next day, when Graves is still harsher than normal, still darker around the eyes and starting to skulk the halls of MACUSA at odd times of day and night, nobody faults him for it.  The man’s beloved wife decided to run off with his best friend.  Anyone would be depressed and take it out on those around them.

By the next couple months, while people are getting demoted or rearranged or fired and new people are brought in, nobody faults him for it.

 

 

When Percival first met his best friend, he was a scrawny, timid boy and they were both just starting their first year at Ilvermorny.  Percival was just wondering how such a shy kid got sorted into Wampus when the boy had been tripped by a sixth year who laughs the exact same question out loud.

Himself, the sixth year, and Oliver all end up in the medical wing.  Percival has a black eye, the sixth year has a broken nose, Oliver just has a bruised chin.

He decides that the Wampus carving is terrible at picking people.

He decides that it's ok because he’s pretty good at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: I originally wrote this all as one thing, and I wanted it to be all one chapter, but I realized I had some notes I wanted to make along the way, and I didn't want to make one huge note at the beginning and/or end of the work. So splitting it into chapters seemed like the best idea, though personally I think it should be read as one straight fic. But anyway. Thanks for getting this far, and for sticking with me despite the OC tag, I hope you are enjoying it. Anyway, thank you. Please feel free to leave a comment telling me what you think. I relish anything and everything you have to offer me.  
>  Just some final notes on this fic:  
> Title comes from Coldplay's The Scientist. I listened to these two covers for the most part though: [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYBtcBxUI5s) and [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEH1FZOoVAI). I checked several lyric sites and some say the line is pulling the puzzles apart, and I saw a couple sites say the line is pulling your puzzles apart, and I liked the sound of that so much better. The entire song is just completely Graves to me, and I practically listened to these two songs nonstop since I started writing this fic. As for the titles for all chapters, they come from the song Freight Train found [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqlIHjq6hcE). In this case, from the chorus.  
> Anyway, onward to the next chapter._


	2. You've Got so Much to Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title for this chapter, again, comes from Freight train, link for song in first chapter.  
> In this case it's a play off the first stanza:  
> Grief is a freight train  
> No, what's a little pain  
> When you have so much to love?

When Newt Scamander comes flying into their lives, accidentally unleashing a horde of mythical creatures, MACUSA is left in a state of upheaval in his wake.  None of them know how long Grindelwald was impersonating Graves, or how it had happened.  It’s a general consensus, a hope really, that it happened the day his wife left him.  Any earlier, any later, and the guilt would leave them all empty aside from it.

It doesn’t take long to find him, fortunately, sadly.  And by the end of the day they all have a pretty clear idea of what happened.

Five months ago, before Graves came home a man comes to the Graves’ door claiming to be an informant for the Director.  Arlene doesn’t let the man in, thinking it strange he would even know where they live.  That is until she is surrounded by several of Grindelwald’s supporters, and her children are being held at wand point.

What happens from there is straight forward.

Gellert Grindelwald knew he could take on the Director of Magical Security and head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in a fair fight.  It would most likely end in Grindelwald injured rather severely, if not fatally, but he’s powerful enough that he is confident he could take on Graves.  But he has plans, plans that he doesn’t mind letting go of his pride a little bit for.  So, he forces Arlene into compliance by threatening her children.  And he forces Graves into compliance by threatening his family.

 

 

The first time Percival sees Arlene as his future wife, it isn’t until his last year at Ilvermorny.  It isn’t until it’s too late that he realizes he’s made a terrible mistake.  That mistake being that he thought Arlene would always be his sister’s bratty, little friend that takes the traits of her house, Thunderbird, to heart.  It was only their second night back, and how she got into the Wampus common room, let alone the boy’s dorm, Percival doesn’t know.  All he knows is Arlene was there, practically flipping his mattress over in her haste to wake him.  He was half asleep as he scrambled into presentable clothes, as she hissed at him to hurry or they’ll be too late.  Gwen was sick in the medical wing with some crazy rash, so his first thoughts were about her, and that was enough to get him to rush along behind her.  But as he became more alert and they passed the medical wing, he started to worry that something else had gone horribly wrong.  It isn’t until she dragged him outside that he thought to even ask what the hell is going on.  She was normally the sort to talk your ear off, so when she merely grinned at him, he resigned himself to the fact that it was one of her crazy adventures and Gwen was sick.  Why she decided he’s the one to drag along, he wasn’t sure at the time.  She had plenty of friends.  He shouldn’t have been her first pick.

When they finally reached their destination, Arlene dropped down into the soft sand that surrounded a small lake, dragged him down next to her, and pointed up.  He looks up just in time to see a shooting star streak across the sky.  Seconds later another explodes above their heads, shattering in the air and streaking fragments like fireworks.  More follow, some small and insignificant, some stream like elegant hexes from one end of the horizon to the other, and a few split into pieces above their heads and shower smaller shards of itself into the night.  Percival doesn’t know how long it lasts, or how long they sit there in utter silence afterwards.

What he _does_ know is that when he finally looked at her, saw the clusters of stars reflected in her dark eyes, and mirrored on her cheeks, he sees what a terrible mistake he'd made thinking she was always going to be just his sister’s bratty, little friend.

What he did know, and always would know, was that he was never so glad to have made a mistake in his life.

 

 

It’s a full week after Grindelwald was captured, and Graves was found, that the Director wakes up from a magically induced coma.  It isn’t until this moment, and Madam President Picquery comes to see him, that they have a location for Rosental.  The entire department never admits it, but all of them are quietly ashamed over the fact that none of them had even thought about Rosental.  The moment Grindelwald had been exposed, their first action was to locate the real Graves.  They’d found him within a day, and they had all sighed in relief.  None of them had thought to look for Rosental, none of them had recognized that of course the story of Arlene and Rosental running away together wasn’t accurate.  Arlene had been held captive for months before finally being murdered.

Arlene had been necessary for Grindelwald’s plan.  Rosental, had not.  When the man had unexpectedly shown up at the Graves’ home to discuss a case, Grindelwald had just been trying on his Percival Graves persona.  Rosental had, of course, seen through it in a manner of seconds.  Grindelwald had, of course, killed him before he could do anything about it.  He was found buried in a very shallow grave, behind the Graves’ home.

The only other person to come see Graves that the mediwizards allow into his room, is Mrs. Rosental.  The nurses will gossip that the woman only stayed for upwards of five minutes, before leaving, tears glistening in her eyes, but with her head high for the first time since her husband had “left her.”

 

 

The first time Percival sees Oliver as most likely the best friend he’ll ever have, it isn’t until their first year at MACUSA.  It isn’t until it’s too late that he realizes he’s made a terrible mistake.  That mistake being that he thought that idiots could be just as mature as he is.  It was only their first year as Junior Aurors, and the Director had paired them off with Auror mentors to finish off their training.  When Percival met his mentor, he sensed almost right away that there was something about the crooked nosed man that he should recognize.  He never mentions it until later because he never figures out what exactly about the other man is familiar until it's too late.

It was only their third time out in the field, Percival, Oliver, and their two mentors.  They had intel that there was an abandoned building that was being used to hold illegal magical creature fights.  From what they knew, the fights had already moved locations, but they were hoping to find something that would be of use to them inside the building.  It turns out, the place wasn’t abandoned.  Oliver and his mentor leave to report back to headquarters.  Percival’s mentor tells him that they should continue the investigation.  It wasn’t until he’s suddenly surrounded by thugs that he realized his mentor was suddenly nowhere to be seen.

He was a good duelist, even at that age, but by no means was he the excellent duelist he would eventually learn to be in the years that followed.  It was only five minutes into the fight that they had managed to disarm him and had laughingly decided to beat him physically.  Part of him was grateful that they had decided to knock the wind from him, kick his ribs in, and stomp on whatever part of his body they could reach.  It was easier to heal later then whatever they could have done to him with hexes.  He was almost looking forward to passing out when the thugs started tumbling over from curses to the back and one of them being physically tackled by Oliver.  From that point, Percival doesn’t quite remember anything else.

What he _does_ know, is he woke up in medical, Oliver with a black eye, and his mentor with another broken nose.  It turned out his mentor was that old sixth year that Percival had once decked.  Why he had held onto the grudge?  Percival doesn’t know.  Why he had decided to take it out on Percival in such a violent way?  Doesn’t know, nor care.  What he does know was that Oliver had saved his life and when he’d tried to thank him, the man had grinned at him, in a way that younger Oliver would have been too shy to do, and said “don’t get sappy on me, I was just returning the favor, though I feel you owe me now.”

What he did know, and always would know, was that Oliver was his best friend, and he couldn’t believe there was ever a time he might have thought otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Names for all the OCs I picked at random from a random census page of both popular names for boys and girls during the 20's and common surnames for the time.  
>  Also, for the record, meteor showers are cool and they are a fun watch but they aren't nearly as spectacular as art would like to make you believe they are (if someone can find video proving me wrong, then please do, because I would loved to be proved wrong in this case). So I know it's a little unrealistic, buuuut, it's a magic world with magic so I can have a magical meteor shower if I want. In the same vein, when I originally started writing this I really had no idea what I imagined the OCs to look like, they were really just a means to an end. Which I feel kind of bad about. So when I wrote the part about Arlene and Graves I described her vaguely because I was planning on leaving her vague. But I did mention her eyes and freckles and I just thought, ok, I want to figure out what Arlene looks like. So I just kind of typed in girl with dark eyes and freckles and I got plenty of good picks, but this one stood out at me. [HERE](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/67/67/cb/6767cb763f747099c99835dd583f06ac.jpg). And I looked at them and I was like "yes, this is young Arlene." So if you know this person or if you are this person, I apologize for stealing your face! But let me tell you, you are a beautiful person and I love your face, you have a very pretty face. And if you were to let me I would kiss all of your face because you are beautiful.  
> Onward to the next chapter._


	3. Only Takes You so Far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Freight train, song link in first chapter.  
> In this case, it's part of the second stanza:  
> Hope is a fast car  
> Only takes you so far away  
> Where you've got a lot to learn

Graves doesn’t let anyone visit him in the medical ward of MACUSA after that first week, even with the mediwizards suggesting it would be good for his mental health.  The Madam President is the only one that does see him, and he doesn’t have a say about it.  He’s finally released from medical a month after he was found and by then everyone in MACUSA knows exactly what happened during his captivity.

With his family in danger, Percival Graves put up a fight, but is distracted, and of course easily subdued when they are threatened.  Oliver Rosental shows up not long after, for what could have been a beautiful rescue, only to be snuffed out within seconds of arrival.  At wand point, Grindelwald questions Graves, tortures him, beats and hexes him, but never breaks him.  He snaps every bone in each of Graves’ hands, shatters the bones in one of his legs, burns and brands him, cuts swathes of skin from his body, paints his blood across his family's home, decorating every surface that can be reached with it.  But never breaks him.  When Graves refuses to break, the dark wizard turns on Arlene.  Grindelwald contorts her body with Cruciatus, forces her to join in torturing her husband with Imperius, and yet he still doesn't break.

So, she crumples with a single green streak to her chest from Graves’ own wand.  From there, well, Grindelwald is cruel, is a disgusting excuse for a wizard, but he is smart.  He's not doing this because he necessarily  _enjoys_ it, he's only doing what he sees is  _necessary_ _._  It almost makes it worse, at least if he was doing it for the sake of doing it, it would be easier to deal with, instead of this perverted belief that what he's doing is  _right_ _._  For the greater good.

He turns on the children, torments them with their father's face, heals their hurts with his own, but never even thinks of killing them.  A man will seek retribution for the death of his spouse, but he'll raze the earth to ash to avenge the death of his children.

And you'd think it would have been easier for him to kill them, kill Graves too, find someone else that he can get the answers from.

But Grindelwald is cruel, is a disgusting excuse for a wizard, but he is smart.  While he'll admit, he doesn't necessarily  _enjoy_ it, that doesn't mean he  _can't._  He wants Graves to live.

He can't break Graves, but he can watch him fall apart.

 

 

When Arlene comes swooping through the department one afternoon, without a visitor's pass, and with a look of worry on her face, no one in the department thinks to stop her.  It obviously can’t be anything good, she never comes to visit looking so disheveled or without following proper procedure.  She practically smashes Percival’s office door open and barrels into the office.  Despite the open door, the muffling charm that is cast over the room prevents anyone from hearing what is being said, but Deputy Director Finley and several Senior Aurors have a clear line of sight into the office, and the news spreads almost as fast as the scene unfolds.  Percival, who had been in a meeting with Picquery, looks about ready to shout at whoever had interrupted.  Seeing it’s his wife, and in such a state of nervous energy, he quickly stands and rushes to her side.  Arlene begins to rapidly tell Percival whatever is the matter and they can see Picquery look vaguely annoyed to surprised to an unholy sort of glee before she schools her face.  As for Percival, he has a much harder time reining in his emotions.  He looks worried, then a look of shock comes over him, his gaze darts down as his hands flutter above her abdomen, before he looks back to her with what could only be described as heartbreakingly hopeful.  When Arlene simply nods, Percival scoops her into his arms and they can almost hear her squeal of surprise when he spins her about and kisses every corner of her face.

By the end of the day, everyone in MACUSA has sent Percival and Arlene a note of congratulations on the impending arrival of the Graves’ families first child.

 

 

And the thing is Graves doesn’t break.  But he does fall apart.

Hard.

The moment he was released to the Graves’ home he immediately puts it up on the market before finding a townhouse in an area that has predominantly Auror neighbors where he lives alone.  Within a week everyone in MACUSA hears the rumors about Poor Director Graves.

The two children are never seen at the townhouse, and it’s confirmed that they had been sent to live with Arlene’s parents.  Why they weren’t sent to Gwen, who lives closer and is one of their godparents, no one is exactly sure but the speculation is easy to understand.

After five months being locked up in their home, three of which locked in a single room being neglected, barely fed, and two of which tortured by a man wearing their father’s face.  They need rest and care, away from the press of too close buildings and too many people.  Arlene’s parents live inland, on a decent piece of property.  Gwen lives in the city not far from the Graves’ old home.  Arlene’s parents are kind, elderly folk who will be able to provide them with exactly what they need.  Gwen is their rambunctious, silly aunt who wouldn’t know how to handle such fragile children.  Arlene’s parents own nothing that would remind them of their terrible ordeal.  Gwen owns plenty of photos scattered about her home of herself and Graves growing up.  Arlene’s parents look nothing like Graves.  Gwen looks strikingly similar.

The simple fact is, they can’t stand the sight of their own father.  The sound of his voice alone enough to send them into panic attacks.  They are too young, only six and ten, to comprehend that the man who hurt them wasn’t really their father.

So, Graves lives alone.  Recovers, alone.  And falls apart.  Alone.

 

 

When Oliver comes whipping through the department one afternoon, without his Aurors uniform, and with a look of concealed panic on his face, no one in the department is around to stop him.  It obviously can’t be anything good, if he’s here this late in the afternoon, and looking like he’s just been thrown through the ringer.  He practically trips into the office, where Graves looks up from his paperwork looking mildly amused by the sight of his disheveled friend.  Until he registers the look on the man's face.  The muffling charm prevents anyone from hearing what they say, but if anyone were to pass they would see the Director shoot up from his chair and rush to his friend’s side.  He immediately nods his head and takes up a determined set to his shoulders as he grabs his coat and the two run to the nearest apparition point.  Where they end up, anyone left inside MACUSA wouldn't know.

By the next day everyone in MACUSA hears about how Oliver was finally able to catch Percival unawares and throw him the biggest surprise party this side of the Mississippi.  The whole department and all of Percival’s friends are there and the fact that none of them had let it slip is something that Percival is begrudgingly proud of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: So, Grindelwald. I hate him, detest him, for what he did to Graves. Even if we never see Graves again in the Fantastic Beasts movies (cause there is a sequel slotted) and we never find out what happened to him, just the fact that he impersonated Graves and no one noticed is enough for me to hate Grindelwald. I do love a good angst fic though, so I've loved all the fics with Grindelwald just hurting Graves in the worst of ways (especially when there has been good c at the end of all the h). But from what little I remember from the books, and from what I then learned reading the Fantastic Beasts wikia page for Grindelwald is that he wants to expose the wizarding world for, what he believes to be, the "greater good." He isn't a villain, or at least he didn't start off as one. So as much as I love all the fics of him just being straight up evil and wanting to reveal wizards and witches because it would cause strife or whatever I felt that Grindelwald isn't that way. So, Graves' torture, to him, is a necessary evil not something that he enjoys doing. At least, not necessarily ;) Hope you like this interpretation of him.  
>  Side note, I forgot to mention it sooner so I'll mention it here. Percival's sister, Gwendolen, I specifically chose her name to be that even though she doesn't really show up much and only plays a minor role in the fic. I wanted a strong female character from legend, and while Percival is the name of one of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table and also one of the Knights who finds the Holy Grail, there are very few kickass ladies in Arthurian myth. So I just looked up kickass lady's and found this: [HERE](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Gwendolen). I was going to name her after the Lady Knight from the Third Book of the Faerie Queene by Edmund Spenser, but I couldn't find a way to make Britomart sound anything but like a long stretch for a name. Figured Gwendolen Graves sounds like something their parents would name her, plus it rolls better then Britomart Graves.  
> Anyway, onward to the next chapter._


	4. What a Vivid Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Freight Train, song link in first chapter.  
> In this case, it's part of the second stanza:  
> Forever is a slow dream  
> Oh, what a vivid thing  
> When you've got so much to lose

The mediwizards had said Graves should take at least two more months off before he even thinks of going back to work.

He manages two weeks, alone, in his new townhouse, before he caves and goes in.  The Madam President gives him a look from across her desk but doesn't say anything aside from: “you're on desk duty until I say so.”  Graves doesn't admit how relieved he is.  While he loved being out in the field, and everyone else hates paperwork, Graves enjoys it.  The quiet, the neat formula of it all, the decompression it brings from fieldwork, how it allows you to process everything that's happened in a simple efficient way.

But more so, it's better than sitting home, alone.

 

 

The day Percival knew he didn't want to spend his life with anyone else, it was rather uneventful.  It's a day that no one would remember, and Percival would be one of them.  He doesn't remember the exact day of the week, or the weather, or what cases he had on the books that day.  He can't remember if it had been a good day or a bad day.  What he does remember is the smell of Arlene’s hair when he pulled her in for his customary “I'm home” kiss.  The way her face crinkled in fake disgust at his sappiness, the way she giggles when he kisses her several more times across her face, just because he can.  The way the children wrap about their legs and loudly proclaim something that, to their young minds, is the most amazing exciting thing in the world, though it is completely commonplace.

What Percival does remember is pulling away to her hand on his cheek, his hands buried in the hair of both their children and thinking:

“I never want this to end.”

 

 

For all intents and purposes, Graves recovers spectacularly.  He steadily gained more weight, not enough to be healthy, but even the small amount of food he's able to stomach now is better than the crumbs he was given during captivity.  The color slowly comes back to his skin, though he didn't have much to begin with.  He still walks with a limp and his hands still spasm at unexpected and undesired times, though in a few more months even those will become less common until it only happens after extreme physical stress.  For all intents and purposes, everything is back to the status quo within five months of his return when the Madam President reluctantly approves Graves request to return to the field.  She can't keep him on paperwork duty forever, as much as she'd rather for the sake of his mental wellbeing, but keeping him cooped up in the office forever can't be any better for him, so she lets him.

But as far as everyone is concerned Graves has not recovered, at all, but none of them know what to do.

He works too long, sleeps too little, eats the bare minimum, and drinks his weight in coffee every day.  He doesn't banter or relax after work with them as he once had, but he doesn't prowl the halls or hold a silent anger the way Grindelwald had.  He sends pigeons with letters to his children every day, gets the same “they aren't ready yet” every day.  It’s not a familiar situation, but it’s one that they all rally against with a fierce fire.  They take care of their own, even though they feel as if they failed him.  They aren’t willing to let him down again.  So, they push to invite him to all the social events like they always had before, even though he says no every time now.  They treat him with the same respect and loyalty they always have never letting pity take a hold of them, even though he looks as if he sees it there anyway.  They all trade off on bringing him lunch over case files acting as if it’s normal for them to rush for a bite to eat over a case they “need some help with,” even if he only ever nibbles at whatever they’ve brought him and even though he looks like he knows exactly what they're really doing.  They all support him, pull together to let him know they are there for him.  Auror Tina Goldstein barrels through all the reports over the five months he missed because of captivity and the five months that he missed because of recovery and she’s determined to get him caught up as fast as she got herself caught up.  Finley attacks every case over the time Grindelwald was in charge with a ferocious determination to make sure that the department had still managed to run good, and proper cases, even if they had the wrong Director in charge.  Madam President sweeps through the ranks, plucking out those who Grindelwald hired, vetting and releasing them or locking them up with the rest of the supporters they’d managed to nip from the streets, quickly bringing back those who had been transferred out or fired.  Within a month and the status quo is truly and properly restored as everyone falls back into place, and every case is caught up upon and deemed unscathed by Grindelwald’s reign.

But that’s only part of it.  It’s only the part that they can control.  Graves has not recovered at all and it’s obvious that he is still spiraling out but none of them know what to do, and if anyone thought to ask, Graves wouldn't know either.

Graves doesn't even blame them, for now or for before, and perhaps that's what makes it worse.  Maybe if he would rage or scream or do… something,  _anything_ _._  But that sounds too much like breaking and Graves isn't willing to after everything he put Arlene through, his children through, Rosental through, he owed it to them to never shatter.  Even if that meant he had to silently continue to fall apart.

 

 

The day Percival knew he was ok with growing old and grey with someone, it was a rather uneventful day.  Another in a long line of days where he'd had to work late, deep into the night, huddled around a desk, head pressed close to Oliver’s. Another case in a long line of cases that were all mind numbing and heart breaking, and all around shitty.  He doesn't remember the case, and he doesn't remember when the last time he'd gone home was or when his last real meal.  He doesn't remember when he fell asleep, he doesn't remember what he dreamed about.  What he does remember is waking up with his head leaned against Oliver’s shoulder and Oliver’s cloak around his own.  Percival sits up with a grunt and Oliver laughs something about “Sleeping Beauty” and gets a slap upside the head for his joke.  He imagined what it will be like to grow old and wilted beside his two most loved people.

What Percival does remember is the relaxed and mischievous glint in Oliver’s eyes, the hand used to strike his friend now just resting on the back of his neck and thinking: “There is nothing else I'd rather do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: If you've noticed, Graves two children, I've intentionally made very vague. Mostly because I didn't know what Arlene looked like at the time, and also because I hadn't quite decided what kind of kids they were going to be. Aside from scared and scarred children who've been hurt and need protecting. I'm thinking of maybe writing a sequel to this fic, where I go a little bit more into Graves relationship with his children. In which case I need to figure out their gender/sex and what not. If you are reading this and you would like to see something specific I'll let you guys help me out here. I have an idea of maybe what I want to do, but I haven't made up my mind yet._   
>  _As for Graves relationship with Rosental. I realized it might come off as him having a slight thing for Oliver, but that wasn't the intention if that's what anyone picked up! They really just have a very platonic friendship and love each other dearly anyway. I have a best friend who I can't imagine not having in my life, she's been my friend for 10+ years and I can totally see myself growing old with her by my side. So that's the relationship Percival has with Oliver, or at least what I wanted to get across at least._   
>  _Anyway, onward to the next chapter._


	5. A Soft Light to See Your Life by

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Freight Train, song link in first chapter.  
> In this case, it's a play on part of the third stanza:  
> Happiness is a soft light  
> That way we see our life by
> 
> Also, Newt finally makes a real appearance, and an introduction into their friendship.

Graves meets Newt Scamander for the first time, and oddly enough it's nothing special.  You would think that such dynamically different people would have a more exciting first encounter.  But, instead, it's so insignificant and unremarkable that Graves and Newt will both only vaguely remember it.  Newt is half way out of MACUSA with Auror Goldstein to look for an errant (again) niffler, and Graves is halfway deeper into MACUSA to meet with the Madam President for (another) long, tedious meeting.  There may have been a handshake, something along the lines of a rushed “pleasure to meet the (real) you,” a similarly brief “I believe (many) thanks is in order,” and then the two go about their business.

The second time they meet it is far more memorable.  Though equally vague in their minds as it's a rush of improbable, yet interconnected events which in the end all blur together.  If asked exactly what happened they are bound to tell you in a jumbled, out of order mess, but they'll both tell you the important parts.  Something about previously said escaped niffler (honestly, not Newt’s fault), a ring of Grindelwald supporters (in a roundabout way, this might be Newt's fault), a whole menagerie of magical creatures (for once none of which belong to Newt), and an unfortunate amount of sewage in the middle of MACUSA (this is unarguably, Newt’s fault).  But most importantly, when the two surfaced on the other side of this pesky business they somehow ended up what Newt would call friends, even if Graves is uneasy with the term.

 

 

When they were kids, in the summertime following their first and second years, Percival spent nearly every chance he could with Oliver.  The Rosental’s lived outside the city and had a huge piece of property that Oliver's great, many times over, grandfather once tilled until magic was born into the family.  They spent their days playing “Aurors and Dark Wizards” and their evenings trying to catch garden gnomes.  There was chilled lemonade during the impossibly hot days and quiet horror stories in the blessedly short nights.  Ilvermorny didn't allow them to take their wands home during breaks, which was stupid because it meant the only way Graves could practice magic was without one.  Well, it  _seemed_ stupid, until Oliver accidentally knocked Mrs. Rosental’s favorite vase off the end table and Percival caught it from across the room near the end of their second summer.  Of course, he was so surprised his magic wavered and sent the vase crashing to the floor.  Mrs. Rosental had frowned unhappily but hadn't said anything.  In part because she knew it was an accident, but mostly because she didn't know that Percival had used magic outside of school.

The next summer, and every one following that, Percival spent every day at Oliver's and the two practiced wandless magic.  Oliver wasn't as good at it, though eventually he was able to master simple commands.  They could pick up and throw rocks at each other, easily deflect and call things to them, but beyond that Oliver couldn't hold anything for long without causing the magic to backfire.  There was only so many times they could explain away singed eyebrows to Mrs. Rosental before she started getting suspicious.  Percival, as what should have been expected, took to wandless magic like a dragon to flight.  There were many days when Mrs. Rosental would, in perplexed tones, tell Mr. Rosental how the boys managed to finish their chores in less and less time.  By the end of their last summer, before seventh year, Percival had grown so adept at the standard spells that the only reason he'd ever need his wand would be during a firefight and for those spells just too complex to do without.

Once, during the start, uncharacteristically nervous and anxious, Percival asked Oliver if he should stop.  The other boy had startled before sheepishly grinning.

“I'm not jealous, if that's what you're worried about.  Anything to help you catch bad guys, you should learn.  Besides, my best friend is a super powerful wizard, what isn't there to like?”

 

 

Not long into their friendship, Graves is cautious to admit, but he likes Newt.  The man is a bit quirky, and not nearly as shy as people assume.  He just prefers keeping to himself and speaking when he feels necessary.  Graves is uneasy about calling him a friend, because it means that he has one more thing to lose, and with the anniversary of Rosental’s death fast approaching it serves as a stark reminder of what he's already lost.  But it becomes increasingly obvious that Newt is.  

Newt reminds him a little of Rosental.  That's not why he likes Newt, but it is, in some part.  The man is quiet but caring, and while he seems to enjoy the company of his creatures more, he's fiercely loyal to the few humans he does interact with.  Graves can relate to that.  Newt spends most of his time with Auror Goldstein and her sister, who Graves had been careful to avoid, but he'll invite Graves to help him with minor creature escapes or ask him to lunch.

It's honestly frightening, and equally soothing.  With how fractured his life feels, you'd think someone who bends the law to his will would just make Graves more anxious.  It makes Graves more relaxed.  Knowing there is someone out there who is willing to snap the rules to save those he cares about.

Really, it makes complete sense why he'd like Newt.

 

 

When they had first moved in together, during his second year as a Junior Auror, Percival had first used wandless magic in front of Arlene.  The place was a small flat somewhere ridiculously cheap that was bug infested and reeked of magic saturated mold.  Percival’s parents had money, way too much money, but they believed in working for what you need so none was being sent his way until they passed and their inheritance piped into Percival’s and Gwen’s bank accounts.

But it was fine, the small place was like an oasis, a distant island outside his grueling career and away from Arlene’s lackluster job.  They spent their days with their noses to the grindstone and their fingertips stained in ink.  They spent their long daylight hours building their positions and making their dreams come true.  But in the evenings they pushed their noses close and touched their ink stained fingertips together.  At night they came together like the tide, and crashed upon the shore.  They spent what precious time they had together close and full of love and laughter.

They barely had time to do anything other than their jobs and were always so tired that it was a relief to be together.  So, months after finding the place, the walls still hadn't been cleaned and bugs still scattered under the furniture when they entered a room.  But after the fourth time Arlene had gotten sick so bad she was laid up in bed for a week, Percival had enough.  He took a sick day and spent the whole time conducting dusters, scrubbing the mold from the wall with his own magic, gathering the brigade of bugs and unleashing them on the landlord’s own pristine flat.  He charmed the outer walls to keep more from coming back, and sent a fleet of brooms and mops scrubbing every room bare.  By the time he was done the place was dulled from stripping layers of paint and wood stain, but it was clean and Arlene didn't look so green around the edges.

She'd been surprised, and slightly frightened by the display of such strength and proficiency with something that was supposed to be extremely difficult.  Later, though, when she isn't puking her stomach out and isn't hacking her lungs empty, she'll admit that is only because she was sick.  When she's back on her feet she almost immediately demands he teaches her.  From there, every waking moment is spent practicing wandless magic.

Arlene is… to put it nicely, absolutely terrible at it.  And that isn't because she's new to it either.  She's always been the adventurous type, focusing more on learning about exotic places and the No-Maj sciences.  She was always more proficient at spells that would let her cause mischief in school, and were useful for her position at MACUSA.  She can barely summon a coin to her hand, but she preens over being able to pull minor pranks on her coworkers with the new skill.

Once, during the start, uncharacteristically nervous and still slightly feverish, Arlene confesses she was scared, but not of him.  “Power like that, it appears as a challenge to others.  It's not intentional but it invites danger.  I'm scared what people might try to do to you.  But my husband is a super powerful wizard, what is there to be afraid of?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: I realized after I wrote this part that perhaps it could have been funnier if Newt were arrested on their first real meeting or something like that. But this is the idea that came to me first so it's what I wrote first. Maybe someday I'll take the fic and rewrite it, because that's what I did with the whole thing. Something came to me so I wrote it. I wanted to draw parallels in some places too, which is why a lot of the flashback kind of scenes with Arlene and Oliver are written similarly in pairs. It's just how my brain thought of them so it's just how I decided to do it. But for now I like it the way it is and I won't be changing it._   
>  _Also, the thing about Ilvermorny not letting them take their wands home? I got that from the actual page Rowling has of Ilvermorny on her site, or wherever it was. It says that children in America don't get their wand until their first day at Ilvermorny, and they have to leave their wand at the school during breaks. Because they are so paranoid about the statute of secrecy. I thought it would make sense then, why Graves would be adept at wandless magic._   
>  _What a clever boy he was._   
>  _Anyway, onward to the next chapter._


	6. Fade Into the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Freight Train, song link in first chapter.  
> In this case, it finishes off that third stanza that the last chapter's title was a part of:  
> Happiness is a soft light  
> That way we see our life by  
> Only fading to the dark
> 
> Though I always heard the last line as "and then fade into the dark" which is why the title is the way it is.

A little bit further into their friendship, Graves is cautious to admit, but he _likes_ Newt.  The man is a little scattered at times but he's adventurous and caring.  He just prefers doing things at his own pace, which happens to vault between slow and steady, and break neck speeds.  Graves is uneasy about thinking of him as anything more than a friend, everything still feels so raw and probably always will, at least a little.  The date of his wife's death is marching closer, and every day is making him feel like he's unraveling.  But it's becoming increasingly obvious to Graves that the man is something more.

Newt reminds him a little of Arlene.  It's not why he likes him, if anything it makes the odd pain that feels something like betrayal that much sharper.  He's fierce when he wants to be, reserved when he needs to be.  He still spends most his time with Auror Goldstein and her sister, but he's started asking Graves on further outings and now dinners that Graves is hesitant to call “dates.”

It's honestly frightening, and equally soothing.  With how fractured his life feels, you'd think finding someone so soon would be unwise.  It seems that way to Graves.  But knowing there is someone who is willing to try and help smooth Graves back together despite everything he's been through and not because of it.

Really, it makes complete sense why he'd _like_ Newt.

 

 

The day Gwen was born, Percival was four and a half and his parents were utterly calm.  It would have been just another day in the Graves’ manor except they left early in the morning and came back with a baby just past noon.  When his mother beckoned him close to where she had laid up in her bed, he came without question.  Gwen had been small and positively ugly, like a very red mandrake.  Something he will forever tease Gwen about whenever she was being a brat later in life.  But at the time he'd scrunched up his nose and his mother had fondly smiled.  He honestly doesn't remember much about the day, but he does remember this:

“You're a big brother now, she's going to need you.”  His mother had whispered in a hushed tone.  Percival had looked down at his sister and sighed.

“I will protect her.”  He'd resigned himself, like a world weary old man.  His mother had directed that fond smile at him and kissed his forehead.

“There's my big, brave man.”

The day Percival married Arlene, their parents kept them apart, as per tradition.  But while their mothers were trying to locate a missing veil, and their fathers had left because “if you don't know how to put on a tux, you don't deserve to be married,” the two snuck from their rooms to meet.  They kept barely missing each other, both having decided to surprise the other in a romantic gesture.  They finally bumped into each other just in front of the large windows on the second floor, overlooking the gardens where they would take their vows in a matter of hours.  Literally bumped, nearly tipped one of the many bouquets of flowers across the fine carpet when they collided.  They laughed and kissed and could barely keep their hands to themselves.  After all, they would take their vows in a matter of _hours_ _._

“I'll protect you.”  He'd thought, as he pushed his nose just behind her ear and she rested a cheek against the crown of his head.

“And I, you.”  She whispered aloud.

The day his first child was born, his second child, all three of Oliver's children, Percival was there, looked down upon their small, beautiful, bright faces and grinned till his cheeks hurt.

“I will protect them.”  He promised whoever would listen.

 

 

The first day, and every day Grindelwald tortured him, Graves thought of Gwen, of his wife, the Aurors he worked besides, all the children of the world, every single flicker of life that shone deep into the night.

“I will protect them.”  Was all he ever said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Well, that was the last chapter guys. Thanks for reading, if you got this far. Tell me what you thought of it, pass it on to other people if you like. I'd love to hear from you._   
>  _I'm thinking of doing a sequel, or more like just a continuation. I have a couple more ideas, but this seemed like a good place to stop for now. If I was to do a sequel it would be more about Newt and Graves, and probably about Graves' children. If you like the sound of it, let me know. If not, I might think of something else, but it's probably what the sequel will be about._   
>  _Leave me a comment, let me know if you liked it, hated it, thought it was meh. What did you like, what didn't you? What would you like to see more of, less of? Tell me, I love to hear from you all._   
>  _Thank you so much for reading. I had a lot of fun writing this, and it's been a while since that has happened so thanks for letting me share this with you._   
>  _Bye for now friends._   
>  _UPDATE: WOW! Ok, if anyone who has already read this comes back and reads this I made a small edit here in this chapter because I was making a timeline of events for this story (and the future sequel) and realized I fucked up and had a minor date inconsistency, so I fixed that. And I may tell you what it was later._


End file.
